My Week In Lists: The “I Hate My Own Genre” Songlist

Imagine how good he could play with his eyes open...

Earlier this week the Beasties and Nas teamed up to release a track called “Too Many Rappers.” The collaboration seems logical enough, as the pairing feels like a perpetual Rock The Bells headliner and Nas seems to be the speed-dial lately of most everyone who needs a crotchety old man verse against all the tomfoolery these kids are doing with the dancing and the swag and the pudding pops.

The song is pretty decent and collaboration is noteworthy in theory, but the concept has certainly become a bit played in the rap realm (though we will have a perpetual soft spot for dead prez’s “Hip Hop”). Yeah, we get it. Dudes would have been laughed off your block back in the day for “The Stanky Legg.” And sure, Rick Ross maybe doesn’t really have Pablo Noriega’s name in the ol’ Rolodex. But only rapping about these things makes you seem like those old dudes at the playground convincing the youngbloods the hook shot is the only real shot in basketball. And it’s even trickling down to the youth. Joe Budden seems to be making a career out of this “Wack MC’s” concept, and dude is only 29!

While hip-hop hating didn’t seem so ripe for parody, the concept of writing a song bemoaning your own subgenre still intrigued us. So we thought we’d take a look at five of the most interesting examples of this in some other musical realms. Feel free to add your own personal favorites in the comments.

Click through to see our list.

El Futbol: Burger King Ad Dudes Score Goooooooooooool!

Apparently this dude is really worried about the whole after Labor Day thing...

Normally we don’t post on the unveiling of new soccer kits, but sometimes things like this happen and you just have no choice.

Every now and then, someone from advertising, PR or marketing comes up with that million-dollar idea, like the guy (or girl, but in this case presumably guy) who thought about putting brand names on the butt of female sweatpants. Well, one of the folks at Burger King just put that guy to shame.

So if you’ve watched a professional soccer game say like, ever, you probably at least vaguely remember someone scoring a goal, running like a madman to the corner flag and pulling his jersey up over his face. You know, it shows off those abs and maybe simulates what it would be like if he were a blind man who’d just scored a goal and ran to the corner flag to be adored, I guess. They’re not working with an endzone here, cut ‘em some slack.

In seemingly unrelated news, Spanish La Liga club Getafe CF recently unveiled their new Burger King sponsored uniforms. Upon immediate cheesy photo op, they look just as ridiculously cheesy as a Burger King logo on bright soccer jersey could be expected to.

But wait… there’s more. When you pull the jersey over your head, this happens.

Yes indeedy, boys and girls. Instead of your face, The King basks in your goal with you! Now I know what you’re thinking. This ruins the integrity of the game. This takes advertising beyond its boundaries. This is creepier than the Rio Ferdinand sex tape. Well good golly Batman, aren’t you an Eagle Scout. You’re not not right. But you’re ignoring how shamelessly awesome this promotion is. And hey, lest we forget about the not- so-dapper dandies who could actually use the King as an improvement to their goal-face, like Wayne Rooney.

So while these bad boys will be busy taking La Liga by storm until Getafe’s lawyers can rework the fine print in their sponsorship deal, BSS has some ideas for what to do with all the leftovers shirts after they inevitably become the laughing stock of Spain.

Concerted Efforts: Dirty Projectors (7/20 @ Williamsburg Waterfront)

Even our poses are experimental... (Photo: Sarah Cass)

Even in the park
Chilling screams and harmonies
Projected quite well

Dave Longstreth’s Brooklyn collective Dirty Projectors have certainly attained the status of a buzz band. This is neither a good nor a bad thing, merely an observation. But such a buzz can be the result of so many different things: a particular cosign, a glowing review from the right publication, a standout record or even a gimmick. But while the Projectors lie somewhere in the land between the glowing review and the record itself, the recognition they’re getting marks this “buzz” as easily the most endearing type: the long overdue praise and attention showered onto an act that’s been making unique and worthwhile music for nearly a decade and has finally hit its high-water mark. So while it was obviously a free concert with a picturesque backdrop, it’s still sort of heartwarming to see hundreds of people in line to see a band like this.

In saying all this, I had my worries about the actual performance. Their music is layered, booming but polished, a sound that often cannot carry over to an outdoor venue all that effectively, much less one featuring the echo of competitive dodgeball in the distance. The sound could either overpower the band itself or get lost in the crowded park. But it did neither of these things. The louder and chaotic the music became, the more the sound simply engulfed the park and took over, both entirely capturing a crowd with several causes for distraction and creating an even more notable contrast and intimacy to the subtler tracks like “Temecula Sunrise.”

The crowd roared for the intro to “Stillness In The Move” and the song, possibly aided by the backdrop of the river and the city, created a beautiful moment. Then songs like “Rise Above” captured the more dynamic and driving force of the band. But the show-stealing moment was the bizarre intro to “Remade Horizon.” The track begins with frantic, almost yodel-like trade-off vocal harmonies between Amber and Angel. It’s a breathtaking moment, but once that seems unlikely to be reproduced at a live show. But the two women did just that, inspiring the biggest awe of the evening and disproving all my worries less than 30 seconds into the song.

This Week In Beards: Freeway’s Beard

My beard is so hard it almost makes you forget my real name Leslie Prodgen.

So for the sake of transparency, we here at BSS are pretty into facial hair. And when it comes into play in a pop culture form involving rappers, we love it so much we want to take it out behind the middle school and get it pregnant.

But possibly even cooler than a legit rap song (albeit one seemingly not released for any reason or project in particular) about beards, is the fact that it actually sort of bangs. In a week where hip-hop was filled with headlines awesome in theory (Lil’ Wayne’s new song entitled “Baseball Sex”) and absurdity (Cam’ron/Ma$e reunion???) that didn’t really deliver in end result, the bar was set pretty low. But Free takes this basic uptempo beat and transforms it into a pretty powerful jam that treats a rap about your beard with the near-precise mix of braggadocio and silliness such a task warrants.

The idea is as logical as it is absurd. Back when people started getting all psyched about Eminem’s comeback earlier this year (read: before they actually heard the album), he did a couple freestyles for Tim Westwood that got a lot of buzz. In one of them he claims, “I disappeared, I was hiding in Freeway’s beard.” Producer Phoe samples this claim and Free plays with it in what ends up sounding like a pretty awesome tandem chorus where Freeway prompts the Em sample with “Yo Em, tell the people where you been….” The track then just sort of devolves into a thesis on why Free’s stubble is “the freshest beard in the game” complete with a Grizzly Adams reference. Oh yeah, and somewhere along the way he calls himself Chef Boyarfree.

As mentioned earlier, this track doesn’t seem to be attached to anything and probably won’t be knocking on the door of Hot 97′s Top 10 anytime soon, meaning it’ll have the shelf-life of just about any other song released via Twitter. But in BSS’s fantasy scenario, this track would ignite and all out war in the world of hip-hop beards. The Slaugherhouse dudes would all come out in matching black track jackets and five o’clock shadows for the group portion of the competition. Aesop Rock will be relevant again for like a week. And Rick Ross would finally make a diss track worth listening to. “I’m the biggest beard that you’ve seen thus far.”

Oh, the possibilities…

For now, check this out. Blare it when you’re driving or not shaving or whatever.