We here at BSS have sort of been rocking out to that new Bacardi commercial that uses Matt & Kim‘s “Daylight”* all week. At first we had to chickity check ourselves for rocking out to a Bacardi commercial, but then we realized the song still totally bangs and the whole “they sold out to those corporate whores at Outback Steakhouse” spiel was so 2004. Like these haters didn’t secretly want a Bloomin’ Onion before they even deleted their illegally downloaded copies of The Sunlandic Twins.
The thing with “Daylight” is that it’s not really about mojitos at all, but it made that party seem quite delightful, and would surely be nice background music to such a beverage. But it got us thinking, what are the best songs that blame it on specific types of alcohol? Here’s our list of the best 10, with the catch that only one song can make the cut per specific type of alcohol (i.e. “Whiskey Girl” & “Whiskey Bottle” would not be allowed to each have a place on said list). Feel free to disagree with us or tell us we must have been drunk for not choosing _______________.
10. “Constructive Summer” – The Hold Steady
This category was tough. Whiskey is timeless, and therefore deservedly has decades worth of quality songs about it. This is generally a new school list so we narrowed it down to the philosophical whiskey ballad (Uncle Tupelo’s “Whiskey Bottle”), the easy-times chill rooftop whiskey jam (Memphis’s “Incredibly Drunk On Whiskey”) and this one. But then we realized how well whiskey can set the tone for an evening, just like this song set the tone for a whole album (and for that matter, a whole band) as Craig Finn proclaims: “Me and my friends are like/ Double whiskey, Coke, no ice.”
9. “Pass The Courvoisier (Pt. II)” – Busta Rhymes f/ Diddy & Pharell
Don’t this list make my people wanna jump jump!
8. Strawberry Wine – Deana Carter
There’s a certain inherent element of creepiness to the alcohol-infused love song (like how “Blame It” is sort of affably able to tread the thin line between what people are really thinking at the club and… date rape), and this awkward allusion to Deana’s first time with a young farmworker definitely makes its home in that element. Maybe she was mature for 17, but the line “I was caught somewhere between a woman and a child” sure isn’t all that comforting. But hey, at least he had a car.
7. “Silver & Gold” – T-Pain**
T-Pain’s ode to his perfectly uncreative combo drink (Silver Patron + Gold Patron = Silvergold Patron) earns a spot for being a homage to alcohol with a straight-up jack of a Kirk Franklin gospel jam. Two point for irreverence, Teddy (unfortunately Franklin didn’t share our enthusiasm).
6. “Jockey Full Of Bourbon” – Tom Waits
No one’s persona in music or film seems more built around the constant blurred line between sober and drunk quite like Mr. Waits. His voice even makes us feel buzzed. And this might be his most direct example.
5. “Hennessey” – 2Pac
Brown bottle role model!
4. “Tequila Sunrise” – The Eagles
Even the new school needs a slightly older friend, and this timeless Eagles classic provides just that with a shot of courage. Although, whenever we drink tequila it never feels this smooth or peaceful.
3. Malt Liquor Medley tie: “40 Ounces To Freedom” – Sublime/”Brass Monkey” – Beastie Boys/”Pass The 40” – Black Sheep/”85”- Youngbloodz & Big Boi
Ah, the joys of malt liquor! You had us at $1.99. Some people might be a bit surprised by the prevalence of art dedicated to the budget beverage, but they obviously didn’t go to college with us, or ever live in a neighborhood with a stoop, or hang out at our apartment last week. Also, we just realized the plotline to “85″ reminds us a lot of Charles Barkley’s notable quotables from his drunk-driving arrest.
2. “Gin and Juice” – Snoop Dogg
Do we really need to say anything about this one? Best ongoing ad campaign Seagram’s never had to pay for.
1. “The Ice of Boston” – The Dismemberment Plan
Lots of songs can be about alcohol, but this song actually wreaks of it. In the opening moments Travis Morrison pops open another bottle of bubbly and toasts with us while navigating through a sea of drunk Bostonians. And as we go from here we get to ride along with Morrison’s shouting buzz: nudity, Gladys Knight, self-deprecating honesty and all. Here’s to another goddamn New Year indeed.
*The actual video for “Daylight” is unsurprisingly much better than a commercial and worth your three minutes. You should watch it here.
**Yes, we realize Patron is also tequila, but we feel it’s become ubiquitous enough as a musical muse to warrant a distinction.
